Quest for the True North

The world according to a traveler and beach bum.

Archive for the ‘rants’ Category

Dec
9

Self-reliance

Filed under culture, family, people, rants

I am of the opinion that a parent should at some point be free of primary responsibility over a child. Say, when you are 18 freaking years old, you should already know how to feed yourself, do your own laundry, and wipe your own ass.

I know we Filipinos like bonding so much that we tend to keep several generations under one roof, but I don’t like it. To me, parents should already be enjoying the sunset of their lives when the children are grown. They should only be enjoying their lazy afternoons and dote on their grandchildren.

A child should move out of the family nest, if not upon reaching legal age, then upon getting married. That is the only way for the child to learn how to handle responsibilities. This might be hard to do in some circumstances, but don’t you think it is only fair that a child who still lives at home at least contribute to the family coffer and not totally depend on the aging parents? It’s not about the money, it is about the backbone. And although a grandparent can help watch over a grandchild, the parent still should have primary responsibility (especially the financial worries) over the grandchild.

I’ve been independent since I was 17, and financially independent since I was 21. I haven’t asked for a centavo ever since. I am not saying though that I am a model child. Far from it. I can’t cook decent meals for myself and I hate doing the laundry, but I don’t ask my mother either to do my chores for me.

What I am saying is that we should at least try to be self-reliant, to unburden our parents of the worries they had when they raised us and watched over us for several years.

You know why our country is so poor? I don’t think it’s because of the corruption in the government. I’d like to go back to the basic, and it starts in the family: so many of us do not have backbones.

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